as if inside our skulls, instead of the brain, we felt a fish, floating, attracted by the Moon.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

world of nerdcraft

So I'm sitting at home, bored, and I haven't posted anything here in a while- clearly the best course of action is for me to write a blog post about world of warcraft! I could finish my lab report, but that's no where near as thrilling.

I used to play WoW early in high school using a friend's account. Though eventually he changed his password because only one computer can be logged in to an account at one time and I was playing too much. So about five years later I found I missed it. Hey! I'm an adult! I can make my own decisions and do what I want with my life! Time to whip out the ol' debit card to register for an MMORPG that will slowly drain away my money and my soul! Hurr hurr

It's not that I'm addicted to WoW (I forget about it fairly often) but it's a fun way to waste away a life. Instead of making my own life choices and working towards productive goals, I can work hard benefiting a fictional character! Yippee! But seriously, I have such admiration for Blizzard and the beautiful, evocative digital world they've made so that us losers can frolic like children. I am so cripplingly socially awkward that I'm too afraid to join a "guild" and interact with other players, so I spend much of my time trying to figure things out for myself instead of going to others for advice. Because of this, I've spent literally hours wandering across the land(and sea)scape trying to find my way around. I don't mind at all though, because this warcraft world thingamajig is so gosh darned gorgeous.

I would take screenshot samples of the beautiful environments, but it would take several hours to fly around on my silly little chimera-like mount so I won't bother. However, I'm not above spending the time to log in and out over and over again to get screenshots of my various characters!

This is "Wursten." So-named because that is Jack's favorite nickname for me, and I find it hilarious. Wursten is a troll, and is level 64 (to put that in perspective, the maximum level attainable is currently 85, though back in the day level 60 was as high as you could go!). Wursten is a warlock, which means shadowy evil magic, and the ability to summon demons. I specialize in destruction, which basically just means I light things on fire.

As a race, the trolls are awkward and hunched with 3 fingers on each hand and 2 toes on each foot, and they speak with jamaican accents. Though of course, Wursten is a girl-troll, and all the girls in WoW are designed to appeal to a hetero male audience. The female trolls are straight-backed, with big hips and tits.

This is "Gulsha." So-named because she is a draenei, and the draenei speak with russian accents, so I came up with a name that sounds sort of russian. Gulsha is level 21, and a hunter. Hunters use bows and guns, and tame animal companions to help fight and shit.

(I named my pet after Tony the was the first thing to come to mind)

As a race, draenei are basically goat people. I find it a bit ridiculous how lithe and sexy the female draenei are, seeing as how the males are hulking beasts!

See what I meant about the trolls?

This is "Beldärin." Not named for anything at all. She's a worgen, which is one of the newer races. Worgen are basically werewolves, as they are "cursed" humans, and worgen players can transform back and forth between the wolf-like form and human form. Beldärin is level 11, and I almost never play as this character. She's a mage, which is happy friendly nature-related magic. Seeing as how my only mage character is level 11, I don't really know very much about mages beyond that...

This is "Çecilia." So named because I love the name Cecilia, and of course that was taken already, but I've found an easy way to get around such inconveniences is to replace letters with the option+ version of that letter (option+o = ø, for example).

Çecilia is a goblin. Like worgens, goblins are also a new race to the world (of warcraft). And they are ridiculously cute. Çecilia is a warrior, which means she fights up close and personal and gets to wear metal armor. Did I mention how cute goblins are? They are so cute.

This is Fiåna. Å in swedish is pronounced sort of like an O, so I used it in place of O in the name "fiona." Fiåna is a worgen, and she is a death knight. Death knights are the undead servants of some evil bad dude you don't need to know about. I don't play this character very much. I basically just included her because her armor is so ridiculous. Just look at that! What is going on with those shoulder pads?!

This is "Çhandra." Yes, I used the ç so I could use that name. Çhandra is a human, and humans are boring. Let's move on...

This is "Rhöna." Rhöna is a dwarf. She is also a paladin, which means she uses religion and stuff as magic and hits things with hammers. I never really play this character... I'm terrible at hitting things with hammers.

This is "Éloise." Éloise is a blood elf, which means she is way too skinny and sexy and, in my opinion, the blood elf race as a whole is laughable simply because they look so cheesy. Éloise is a rogue, which means she sneaks around and knifes people in the back, but she has terrible defensive skills and would be KO'd by a bunny rabbit if she had to fight with it fair and square.

This is "Cornëlia." Cornëlia is one of the foresaken, which means she is a zombie. But look, even the zombies have sexy boobs! How does that work?! She's also a priest, which means she uses religion and shit as magic, like a paladin only wimpier.

This is "Çeline." Çeline is a night elf, which basically means she is sexy like the blood elves, but not as skinny. Çeline is a druid, so she does nature magic and blah blah blah. The cool thing about druids is that they can turn into animals.

Like this...

OMG I'm a bear lol

And so ends the most lame (and boring) post I have ever submitted to blogspot...


Day 21 — A recipe

What? That's even more boring than world of warcraft!

Something I've been wanting to make for a while (and, of course, Jack has expressed enthusiasm):
Olive Penguins!