as if inside our skulls, instead of the brain, we felt a fish, floating, attracted by the Moon.

Monday, February 15, 2010


Sometimes I browse through photos on facebook and wish I looked like anyone but me.


  1. fuckkkk I do that too....for hours actually. I don't think it is healthy.

  2. You know what! Fuck it all! Fuck love! Fuck trying to look like something we're not!
    "Beauty" (conventional) is overrated in our society...everyone is obsessing about each others faces and bodies constantly while we COMPLETELY IGNORE the value of the true beauty of society ---- visual art created by human hands.
    It's everywhere & it is taken for granted. Artists slave away at that shit for the benefit of society as a whole and without them we'd be wallowing and miserable,We would be nothing. Nothing.

    So fuck it ....constantly looking at.......................
    pictures on facebook of people who (look) better than me............... (us)
    ...actors, the whole lot.

    It's everywhere....constantly and consistently:

    Be happy the size you are! *turn page* How to lose a stone! *turn page* What will drive him wild! *turns page* How to make a big nose look smaller! *turns page* Summer fashions of lingerie! *turns page* I rarely orgasm, am I normal? *turns page* Why do women have self-esteem issues? *turns page* If your makeup isn't perfect EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU *turns page*.

    Why are people so quick to point out the flaws in others? Both physical/superficial and personality flaws... like when someone randomly and arbitrarily says something about your flaw
    Is it really necessary? I think I know by now.. There's not much I can do about it, so just keep your disgust to yourself.
    people are just so critical of others, constantly. They'll see someone new and immediately cast judgment upon them. It makes me sick. When they're watching a movie or looking at a magazine they'll point out the people who do not look perfect. I feel like people are so critical of those around them that they fail to look at themselves and within themselves........ blaahhhhhhhh
    //////i just wanna be pretty lol~
    what a waste of time.

  3. lol ilu alisa ♥
    I totally agree with everything you said. it's horrible that our society tells women (and everyone to some extent, but I do admit it's mainly women) that what other people think of them = what they should think of themselves.
    unfortunately, even if I KNOW I shouldn't care, it's a waste of time, blah blah etc, I can't help but care :| aldskjaskldjas
    whatever. the world. fuck it all.

  4. i know!! me too lol. i still care even though i know its bullshit

    and i wrote that late at night and...uh you know how that goes. sounds pretty ridiculous

  5. I recommend learning to appreciate beauty, rather than trying to covet it. Just because someone else is beautiful doesn't mean that you're not. Beauty (of all kinds) is a wonderful thing, if you can learn to simply accept it as something inconstant and ethereal.

    By the way, the Internet tends to prove that celebrities DON'T really look the way that they're portrayed in the media.

    There's no guide to learning to like yourself...perhaps it's necessary to forget about the rest of the world for a little while. I don't know. I promise you, though, it's possible, even if it doesn't seem that way.

    Don't mean to sound like an inspirational speaker or *shudder* a guidance counselor/psychologist...gah...

    I will record myself as Anonymous, but by this point, I bet that you can guess who this is.

  6. oh I don't care about celebrities. their beauty (for the most part) is both unattainable and faked. I'm taking about people I know in real life.

    and I know that I should lean to appreciate beauty instead of coveting it, but it's not something I can so easily put into practice. it's not as though I haven't been trying to work on this, it's still pretty hardwired into me. I know it's possible, which is why I'm hoping this is a problem that can be fixed (though obviously trying on my own isn't really something that can work for someone in my position, though I've been bugging my mom like crazy for her to stop procrastinating and actually call the therapist my doctor recommended...)

    and actually, the thing you have to remember is that I'm horrible with anonymous comments. until you said that I had no idea who you were. (I still don't know for certain, but eh)
    I wish I could talk to you in person but I would be so awkward and quiet I think I would probably just end up coming off as extremely alienating/embarrassing. maybe that problem can also be fixed, who knows.

  7. Well, even for people you know (I was actually talking about what your friend mentioned.)

    Oh, believe me, I understand. As the overplayed-but-still-enjoyable-for-me Coldplay said, "Nobody said it was easy, / No one ever said it would be this hard." Therapy isn't really the answer either, although it helps. I suppose self-exploration, which is usually forced upon us at inconvenient moments, is what makes anything useful happen...

    Well, I am a girl. A complicated one (aren't we all.) And we never got a chance to get to know one another before it was rendered...difficult. That should make it clear enough. I don't know why, putting my name out there makes me feel...I don't know.

    I guess speaking in person could be possible, but what would we say? It would be difficult for me to be completely unbiased, although I am also sad to see anyone in the position that you're in right now. I might be brutally honest, and I don't know if that would be any good. I am awkward too, and I understand the complications, hence I have no idea what actually meeting you would be like. Painful, probably...And are you even sure you would want to?

    All problems (personal ones, at least) can be, if not fixed, then worked on. Usually, though, conscious effort has little effect, and it's only when terrible (or, I suppose, wonderful) things happen that one learns anything...

    I like that my word verification is "funceful." That sounds like an adjective I would like to use to describe my life.

  8. I will say that even though it's a shame we never got to really know each other before the difficulties began, at this point it's probably a good thing.
    I really have no idea how much you know about me, so I don't know if you've heard about what happened before I was dating luke (you might have, it seems everyone knows), but it's pretty similar. there are several differences which make this situation far preferable, though I do completely understand the core situation, which is my main reason for wanting to be able to talk to you about it (because I've been through this sort of thing, in a sense). though again, the reason I probably won't for a while is that it would probably make things worse because of the position I'm in here...

  9. What I know about you is mainly from your own words (i.e. here), with only a little bit of additional background. For that matter, I don't know how much you know about me.

    Well, it's up to you. These days, I have a tendency to do things that I shouldn't FIRST, and only afterwards decide whether or not I regret doing them. Hence, I would be willing to try speaking with you, if you decided that you would like that.


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