as if inside our skulls, instead of the brain, we felt a fish, floating, attracted by the Moon.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I feel like I'm the one in my group of friends who no one really likes and is kind of an annoying know-it-all. I'm pretty rude and offensive a lot of the time. and whiny. and unintentionally mean. I tend to make people angry/upset it seems. though I don't really have any way of knowing if my suspicions are true or not, because of course if you ask someone,
"do you secretly dislike me?"
what are they going to say? that's such an awkward question. it's a question I feel I would probably ask without thinking. I do things like that sometimes, unfortunately.
I stole this picture from alanna. I really liked it. it describes what I want to be pretty clearly, I think.
this makes me a little bit sick to look at, actually, but only if I think of it as food. if I think of it as art, it's sometimes pretty.
I'm pretty disgusting. I'm pretty bloated and saggy and worn and torn looking today. I think I would prompt one of those awkward, "are you sick? you look terrible!"-s from people today.
I feel kind of broken. like how a machine is broken. I feel like something is wrong with me. I'm very unmotivated in the way I used to be [work is literally scary. any kind of work. cleaning, dishes, going to the store, leaving the apartment...]